Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Letting Go

I sat there last Sunday
The house was empty
Except for bits of cutlery lying there on the floor beside me

Many are the memories that I have of that home
As I sat there, everything came rushing
One after the other, memories flooded my head

I saw myself in my room
Getting out of my bed, dancing and singing
My mother came in and joined me

Sitting in the front veranda
Sitting on my father’s lap
We played
We laughed
We hugged

Christmas dinners with the family
A dinning table for almost twenty
Laid out majestically
My father at the head
And me at the tail!

Birthdays, parties when I was yonger
Gatherings when older
So many smiles
So many sounds of laughter
Smiling faces
Spoke of happy times and a happy family

Running around the house
Through one room to another
Getting lost at times
Small feet had a long way to run

Frisbees thrown in the garden
Father beside
An excited dog doing the chasing

Power cuts
Candle light dinners outside
My dad, mum and me
And a little doggie

As a bride I sat in my parents room
Veil before me
Ready to step into a new phase in my life
Ready for a change
A beautiful union

But now, this change
Bringing mainly tears
Tear after tear

Many memories
Some hard some great
But each memory one that I now hand on to

As I sat there in that almost empty house Sunday night
Tears ran freely
Questions were raised to God
Questions of why
A sense of helplessness prevailed around me
A sense of sadness
A sense of losing a part of me

Leaving the home close to midnight
I knew it was the last time that I would see it
My home
My memories
My place with my father

The home is no longer ours
Never will I walk those halls
Never will I run through the rooms
Never will I have a chance to live in a house where I built many dreams and hopes
In my heart God says there is a reason
I am trying my best to understand
I know there is a plan
I know there is a reason
But still there are tears in my eyes